I'll Beg For Attention

Okay, so another day writing a diary. I’m pretty happy with how everything’s going. The progress over the past few days has is already noticeable, and becoming hyper self-aware made a huge difference.

I’ve been thinking about this diary recently, and I’ll probably have to change how I do it. First of all, after posting my diary publicly, I’ve noticed that I’ve started to overthink and filter everything I write. That’s not great, but continuing to share everything openly might eventually fix the problem over time.

There’s one important question I struggle to answer though. How much does it matter that someone is reading what you write? The problem is that I’m highly addicted to the attention. No matter what I do, if I’m the only one who knows about it, I quickly lose interest. It’s not ideal. There are always periods when you have to grind without having any quick results, and patience in those moments is the key.

Clearly, my writing is far from being valuable to others, but the only way to improve is to keep writing.

All my previous posts were shared on my Instagram stories so my friends would notice. That way, I tried to create at least some illusion of importance around what I’m doing, but it’s probably not a healthy habit. Because of that, I’ll likely stop reposting everything on social media and only share my best work. Those who care about everything I write will find new post on my website on their own anyway.

Finally, I plan to rebuild the website from the ground up. I want to make it more structured, cleaner, and easier to use. The key features I want to add are separate pages for blog and diary, plus an option to opt-in for notifications about new posts.

So far it seems like I’m moving in the right direction. Everything else is pretty simple - just do not stop grinding.